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parenting

Books + Stories
Parenting is Hard. Win a copy of parenting book: First Ask Why!
April 19, 2018 at 12:40 pm 0
  Friends, I'm so excited to introduce you to my friend Shelly Wildman. She's the mom of three adult daughters and she's written a parenting book not because she has it all together, but because she's asked some good questions. It's called First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God through Intentional DiscipleshipAs a mother to four young kids, I've already learned a ton from Shelly's book and I want you to have your very own copy!

Shelly Wildman is a former writing instructor and author of  First Ask Why (Kregel). Shelly holds degrees from Wheaton College (BA) and University of Illinois at Chicago (MA), but her most important life’s work has been raising her three adult daughters. She and her husband, Brian have been married for 32 years and live in Wheaton, IL. Shelly speaks to women’s groups in the Chicago area and spends much of her free time mentoring young women. When she has time, she loves to cook, read, and travel. Connect with Shelly at her website or on Instagram and Facebook. You can still preorder First Ask Why at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kregel.com since it comes out on April 24th.

Read more below to find out about the book and how to win!


 

Instead of managing our children's behavior, Shelly Wildman says we need to first ask why.

To enter to win a copy of her book -- which is perfect for parents of children who are tweens and younger -- all you need to do is subscribe below. (If you're already subscribed, comment on this post instead.)


 

Shelly was so kind to answer a few questions. Read on to find out more about the book!

    Writing about parenting can be a powder keg—people have pretty strong opinions about raising kids. Why did you choose to write a parenting book? I kind of feel like I didn’t choose to write a parenting book, but that the book chose me. (Sounds like a scene from Harry Potter, doesn’t it?) I fought writing it for a long time because I knew I wasn’t a perfect parent—I had messed up so many times that I didn’t feel qualified to write this book. I still don’t. But the idea kept nagging at me for so long that I finally felt like God might have been pushing me to do it.   What makes your book different from other parenting books? So many parenting books are “how-to” books. They seem to say, “Just follow these ten steps and here’s what you’ll get in the end.” But I don’t believe we can parent by formula. I think we have to look at our unique family and ask why.
  • Why are we doing what we’re doing as a family?
  • Why are we emphasizing these spiritual values? And are there others we should consider?
  • Why are we even here as a family? What’s our purpose for being put together in this unique combination of individuals?
Asking why gets to the heart of the matter; it exposes our motivations and desires for our family. Asking why leads to intentionality. And asking why helps give our children a sense of purpose as we lead them.       What was your lowest parenting moment? You mean besides that time I locked my one-month-old in the car? (True story!) I think my lowest moments were the times I let my daughters down. When I betrayed their trust by sharing too much with others. Or when I didn’t fulfill a promise I had made. Parents can feel their kids’ disappointment, which hurts so much. But more than that, too many disappointments lead to mistrust or a lack of respect, and I never wanted that to happen. That said, parents are human. We do mess up. We do let our kids down. And those are the times we have to humble ourselves with our kids and apologize, sincerely. We need to let our kids know that we don’t always do things perfectly or say the right things or even parent correctly. But that we need grace and the help of God as much as they do.   Who do you hope will read this book and what do you hope they will gain? I hope parents with kids of all ages will read this book, but especially parents of younger children. I hope grandparents will read this book. And I hope it sparks lots of discussion between husbands and wives, moms groups, or even small groups in churches. My hope is that parents will come away from reading this book with a stronger sense of their purpose as parents and that they might gain a couple of new ideas that they can implement in their own family. I also hope people will read the last chapter very carefully and prayerfully. The last chapter of the book is on letting go, and it’s a concept that I think is becoming lost a little bit today. It’s so hard, but it’s so important, even when your children are young, to start thinking about letting go. We’ve got to be parents who demonstrate faith in God’s sovereign work in the lives of our children.  

Is your appetite whetted for a book that will help you ask all the good and hard questions so you can intentionally disciple your children?

To win the book, all you need to do is enter your email (or comment). 

 

Giveaway will end on April 24, 2018.

Share with all your friends who could use some love on their parenting journey.

If you can't wait you can order First Ask Why right now!

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Books + Stories
Win a book every mom needs! Catherine McNiel’s Long Days of Small Things
February 21, 2018 at 6:43 am 0
Friends, I'm so excited for you to read Catherine McNiel's book: Long Days of Small Things. I've introduced you to some great books by my friends Dorcas Cheng-Tozun (on start-ups and marriage) and Beth Bruno (on raising girls). Catherine McNiel writes to open eyes to God’s creative, redemptive work in each day—while caring for three kids, two jobs, and one enormous garden. Catherine is the author of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline (NavPress 2017), and loves to connect on TwitterFacebook,Instagram, or at catherinemcniel.com.  
 

Her book, Long Days of Small Things, is a must for every mother who has felt the beauty, the monotony, and the blessing in doing small things on many long days.

I don't know about you, but I am hungry for words to help me live this mothering life well. You'll find that in Catherine's book.   Long Days of Small Things is a book that looks at the real life work we do in our everyday lives, and finds God right here in the midst of it. It’s a book for moms (or dads…or grandparents…or caregivers…) who know they don’t have any extra time or energy, but still want a way to connect with God and discover how to find Him.  In each chapter Catherine tells stories from our real lives—the seasons and stages of motherhood, pregnancy and delivery, infant days, sleepless nights, caring for children of all ages—and the tasks that fill them. She looks at spiritual tools that already hide there—like sacrifice, surrender, service, perseverance, and celebration—and considers how we can open our eyes to the spiritual boot camp we walk through every day. Without adding anything extra to our live or to-do lists, we practice so many disciplines every moment of the day.
 

Guess what friends? I get to give a copy away!!

Here's what you need to do: simply put in your email here (or comment if you're already a subscriber) and you'll be entered to win! Giveaway ends in one week.

Win a copy!!

   

Want to hear more?

Catherine was so kind to answer a few questions about her book:

  How has motherhood impacted your understanding of spirituality? We think of spirituality as something that happens in our minds, in silence. We are taught that our bodies, our mess and complications and noise hold us back from being with God. That doesn’t leave a lot of hope for moms, whose pregnant or post-partum bodies, newborns, toddlers, and van-full of carpool kids have no end of loud, messy, physical, chaotic needs. But God made us, didn’t He? Genesis describes Him getting in the dirt and forming us from the dust by hand, then breathing His own breath into our mouths. That’s pretty physical and messy! Then He actually took on a body Himself. The King of Kings wiggled around in a woman’s womb, surrounded by amniotic fluid. He entered the world through her birth canal. God was born, you guys. That’s our Good News. All this physical stuff that we feel keeps us from Him is the same stuff He used to meet with us, to speak to us, to save us.  So Long Days of Small Things is a book for moms “who have neither quiet nor time” as the cover says—or dads, grandparents, and other caregivers.   Describe an experience that first caused you to understand motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline. I was shopping with my three kids. Can you imagine the scene? Lugging my infant in one of those terribly unwieldy baby-carriers. Holding my toddler by the hand, while my preschooler zoomed around the store. The diaper bag was falling off my shoulders, and I clenched the grocery bags with the same hand that grasped my toddler. And then…the door. I couldn’t figure out how to get us all through. The baby was wailing for milk and a nap, the toddler and preschooler needed lunch (and a nap). I wanted lunch and a nap too, truth be told. But mostly I just wanted to get us out the door. No one held it open for me, but plenty of people watched me make a fool of myself trying to wiggle us all through without banging any heads or pinching any fingers. It felt like a hero-feat, an epic win. When I finally got everyone home, fed, and sleeping, I sat down to read an article I’d been saving; a short biography of a favorite Christian teacher. The biographer described this hero of the faith as so spiritual, he radiated peace just by walking through the door. This stopped me in my tracks. The memory of how I looked going through a door was so fresh in my mind. I realized that if spiritual growth entailed developing an aura of peace and radiance, I was never going to arrive—at least not without getting rid of these precious babies! The contrast between this teacher and myself was so stark, and I realized he and I were simply on two separate paths. I was seeking God through the chaotic but life-giving seasons and tasks of motherhood, and this was going to look entirely different from the classic spiritual practices. “Results may vary” as they say.   How is this book different from all the other books and conversations out there regarding motherhood today?  There are so many books out there for moms on the topic of devotion and spirituality.  Almost all of them have this in common: after admitting that moms are exhausted, stretched too thin, without any margin or time or energy, they look for a few extra minutes here or there which might be harvested for God; or offer a Bible study or prayer list that might fit in the tiny slots. Get up at 4:30am before the baby wakes at 5am! Read two minutes of the Bible each day! I’m all for doing these things when it works, but I’m convinced that we don’t need to exit motherhood to have a spiritual life. Our children are what we create, and this is where our Creator God meets us. I’m certain of it. Without adding more “should’s” or “to-do’s” to our days, we can open our eyes to a unique spiritual journey, made just for us—and find him here. We’re already doing it. All that waits is for us to breathe deeply and being to drink.
 

Win a copy!!

 

Giveaway winner will be emailed within one week.

   
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At other places
Perhaps this is its own letting go
February 5, 2018 at 6:00 am 0
  There are times in your life where all the good that you've taught your children may come  home to roost. Where you realize you've been caught by the one or two good things you've imparted to your kids. These are the times when you see the tendency in your own self -- in this case, to be right -- as a joint failing. It's hard seeing sin passed down. And yet on the other side of needing to be right -- or whatever your particular issue is -- there is, we pray, a pathway made. A path for us to walk as we both mature and grow. You're making the routes for the future you and the future child to walk alongside together. And for that to happen you have to say I'm sorry. You have to learn to let go.   Here's a bit of that story that's up today at The Mudroom:   

We were walking in to church: my brood of children and I. I’d actually managed the impossible trifecta: hair done, makeup done, dressed appropriately (usually only one or two gets checked off the list daily). My three younger children were already hanging by their fingernails off of the plastic slide, but my eldest walked away in front of me, a bit sullen.

“You’re not owning up to it! You yelled at me,” he said, stomping off a few paces ahead of me.

He was, of course, referencing the time not five minutes previous where I’d deepened my voice to let him know his behavior was not on point. Reader, I hadn’t yelled, instead I’d deepened my voice — and he wasn’t praising me for the way I had my anger in check and my emotions under control.

  Read the rest here.
  Don't forget a few things: *My once-a-month newsletter (and the chance to win free books!) is a great way to stay connected. Make sure you're subscribed. Enter your email to join:
*The Society for Finding Holy in the Suburbs is forming and we want you in it. It's a great way to find out info about my book and get some practical resources for living well where you're placed. Sign up below.
* I'm giving away free books! Make sure you enter to win! I'll have new books to win most every Tuesday or Wednesday in February and March. All you need to do is be a part of my email list. (Beth Bruno's A Voice Becoming was up first. Buy it if you don't win!)
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Books + Stories
Win a Copy of Beth Bruno’s New Book: A Voice Becoming!
January 31, 2018 at 6:00 am 0
Friends! I'm so excited to introduce you to Beth Bruno, author of A Voice Becoming: A Yearlong Mother-Daughter Journey into Passionate, Purposed Living. Her book is a beautiful introduction to how we help our daughters grow up to be passionate, purposeful women.   You'll get to hear more from Beth and enter to win her book!  

What does it mean to be a woman? How do we help our daughters past the tween and teen years where everyone else says obsess with boys or create drama with your girlfriends?

  If you're looking for some big ideas and practical wisdom (and a ton of practical how-to's) about raising women to love God and love others, this book is for you.  

Here's a bit about the book and why I can't wait for you to read it:

  A Voice Becoming: A Yearlong Mother-Daughter Journey into Passionate, Purposed Living is a year-long exploration of what a womanly rite of passage might mean. It's not meant as a cheesy way to talk about the birds and bees, but rather an intentional message of hope, agency, beauty, truth, and extending the goodness of the gospel to all corners of the earth as we work out justice on behalf of women. Even if you're not a mom to a daughter, this is an important book to consider if you care about half of humanity. As a mom to four (one of whom is a daughter), I'm desperate to have some intentional, life-giving parenting resources to help my children through the tween and teen years. This book, along with Beth's husband's book (Man Maker Project: Boys are Born. Men are Made.), will be a terrific start.  

Can you imagine how beautiful a legacy we could give to the next generation if we could help our children answer: Where have you come from? And where are you going?

   

Beth was so generous to answer a few questions about A Voice Becoming:

  1. Why did you decide to write this book?   I did not set out to write a book like this. While my husband researched and designed the year that became the Man Maker Project: Boys are Born, Men are Made, I did my own research. Even less had been written about rites of passage for girls. And what I found felt insufficient given current culture and the realities youth face. My girls did not fit the archetype described in many existing books and I knew I would miss their heart if I employed those models. That, paired with the enormous expectations they had after my son’s “man year,” meant creation of our own journey was inevitable. 2. Tell us a little bit about you and your girls. What is your relationship like? We are some pretty independent women! Once we got over the initial toddler Sunday school tears, my girls marched confidently away from me toward every new adventure. The youngest started overnight camp at age 7 (which I still can’t believe we did!) I’d say we’re close, but not intertwined. As in, I never struggled with being a helicopter mom. We share the passion gene and get fired up about strong women doing cool things. They play along with my quirky interests, but the older they get, the fiercer their sarcasm and teasing gets. I give them a lot of fodder, but down deep, I sense they love it. 3. Can you share about a difficult time parenting your tween daughter? How to choose one? Lest you think all is easy and swell all the time in our household, believe me when I tell you I have been called “dictator of the universe.” My kids are still kids and I am still a very human and fallen parent. The biggest challenge for me is sustained empathy. There are a few themes on repeat in each child’s life and I tend to go through cycles of mercy and exasperation. In the Appendix, I write about Ella’s theme with friends and I have to tell you, this is one of those cycles for me. Deciphering between truth and perception, emotion and reason, makes it difficult to navigate problems with tweens. My challenge was to show up every time she needed me to. To be present in the pain and not checked out in fatigue. I did not always succeed. 4. How did your daughter feel about the year during the year? After? Ella ate up my intention toward her. Honestly, it made me realize how much she needed my attention. She understood it was a big deal to “become a woman” and knew to take serious each thing we did together. I even think she was proud to tell her English teacher the books she brought to class were “assigned” by me. Since completing the year, I’ve noticed a beautiful, albeit difficult, by product: She is more mature than peers. Recently, she articulated this by saying “I’m going to run for President and make it mandatory that all girls have a Becoming year.” 5. How does your work to prevent human trafficking intersect with raising strong girls?   I spend most of my time addressing two different types of girls: “at-risk” and overly active. With community service providers, I am working on intervention models with vulnerable kids, response protocols, and prevention tools for those most at risk of being exploited. In high schools, I speak to the whole student body, but it is often the overly involved, good students who want to take on leadership. These two groups have something in common however: girls who live small stories are often more vulnerable to traffickers. It doesn’t matter if she comes from a chaotic home or a church-going family, if a girl has a gaping hole in her heart and she fills it with whatever feels good at the time, she is easier to manipulate. My passion to cast a vision for a bigger story, to lift girls’ eyes out of the daily obsession with bodies, boys, and besties, to a life of purpose and passion is my antidote to exploitation and ultimately, human trafficking.  
  I'm sure you can't wait to read A Voice Becoming. Scurry on over to purchase it or enter to win a copy right here. (Or better yet, buy a copy for a friend and win one for yourself!)

TO ENTER TO WIN A COPY:

All you need to do is enter your email address here.

Leave questions in the comments for Beth!

 

GIVEAWAY CLOSES on Sunday, February 4 at 12pm Pacific.

Winner will be notified by email. 

*When you enter your email, you'll get my once-a-month newsletter with writing news, where I'm speaking, and the chance to win more free books -- exclusive to subscribers! You can always unsubscribe at any time.
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