Friends, I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend Shelly Wildman.
She’s the mom of three adult daughters and she’s written a parenting book not because she has it all together, but because she’s asked some good questions.
It’s called First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God through Intentional Discipleship. As a mother to four young kids, I’ve already learned a ton from Shelly’s book and I want you to have your very own copy!
Shelly Wildman is a former writing instructor and author of First Ask Why (Kregel). Shelly holds degrees from Wheaton College (BA) and University of Illinois at Chicago (MA), but her most important life’s work has been raising her three adult daughters. She and her husband, Brian have been married for 32 years and live in Wheaton, IL. Shelly speaks to women’s groups in the Chicago area and spends much of her free time mentoring young women. When she has time, she loves to cook, read, and travel. Connect with Shelly at her website or on Instagram and Facebook. You can still preorder First Ask Why at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kregel.com since it comes out on April 24th.
Read more below to find out about the book and how to win!
Instead of managing our children’s behavior, Shelly Wildman says we need to first ask why.
To enter to win a copy of her book — which is perfect for parents of children who are tweens and younger — all you need to do is subscribe below. (If you’re already subscribed, comment on this post instead.)
Shelly was so kind to answer a few questions. Read on to find out more about the book!
Writing about parenting can be a powder keg—people have pretty strong opinions about raising kids. Why did you choose to write a parenting book?
I kind of feel like I didn’t choose to write a parenting book, but that the book chose me. (Sounds like a scene from Harry Potter, doesn’t it?) I fought writing it for a long time because I knew I wasn’t a perfect parent—I had messed up so many times that I didn’t feel qualified to write this book. I still don’t. But the idea kept nagging at me for so long that I finally felt like God might have been pushing me to do it.
What makes your book different from other parenting books?
So many parenting books are “how-to” books. They seem to say, “Just follow these ten steps and here’s what you’ll get in the end.” But I don’t believe we can parent by formula. I think we have to look at our unique family and ask why.
- Why are we doing what we’re doing as a family?
- Why are we emphasizing these spiritual values? And are there others we should consider?
- Why are we even here as a family? What’s our purpose for being put together in this unique combination of individuals?
Asking why gets to the heart of the matter; it exposes our motivations and desires for our family. Asking why leads to intentionality. And asking why helps give our children a sense of purpose as we lead them.
What was your lowest parenting moment?
You mean besides that time I locked my one-month-old in the car? (True story!)
I think my lowest moments were the times I let my daughters down. When I betrayed their trust by sharing too much with others. Or when I didn’t fulfill a promise I had made. Parents can feel their kids’ disappointment, which hurts so much. But more than that, too many disappointments lead to mistrust or a lack of respect, and I never wanted that to happen.
That said, parents are human. We do mess up. We do let our kids down. And those are the times we have to humble ourselves with our kids and apologize, sincerely. We need to let our kids know that we don’t always do things perfectly or say the right things or even parent correctly. But that we need grace and the help of God as much as they do.
Who do you hope will read this book and what do you hope they will gain?
I hope parents with kids of all ages will read this book, but especially parents of younger children. I hope grandparents will read this book. And I hope it sparks lots of discussion between husbands and wives, moms groups, or even small groups in churches.
My hope is that parents will come away from reading this book with a stronger sense of their purpose as parents and that they might gain a couple of new ideas that they can implement in their own family. I also hope people will read the last chapter very carefully and prayerfully. The last chapter of the book is on letting go, and it’s a concept that I think is becoming lost a little bit today. It’s so hard, but it’s so important, even when your children are young, to start thinking about letting go. We’ve got to be parents who demonstrate faith in God’s sovereign work in the lives of our children.
Is your appetite whetted for a book that will help you ask all the good and hard questions so you can intentionally disciple your children?
To win the book, all you need to do is enter your email (or comment).
Giveaway will end on April 24, 2018.
Share with all your friends who could use some love on their parenting journey.
If you can’t wait you can order First Ask Why right now!